Seven.

"She was raised on Easter Sunday, for You wanted her by Your side.

Just like our reigning Savior, You rose her with You on high.

The world is just a vapor, it's pains will soon be gone,

just like the seven minutes, You used to bring her home."

-Seven Minutes

Hannah Fenton was a 12 year old girl, full of joy, graced with love. Loved by her parents, sister Chelsea, and an innumerable amount of friends both young and old, she lit rooms everywhere she stepped.

Without warning, or any prior inclination, the Lord used seven minutes to bring Hannah home to him this past Easter Sunday.

I was hanging out friends Easter night when I got a text message from a friend in Glen Rose asking me to pray for Hannah, who had suffered a seizure, and her family. Having gone through nine seizures as a child, I said a quick prayer for Hannah, assuming all would be fine. I texted both of Hannah's parents and Chelsea, simply saying that I was praying and that I would love to help any way I could. The text was responded to ten minutes later as Chelsea called me, crying, telling me that Hannah hadn't made it.

My initial response was shock, followed by screaming internal expletives that my tongue wouldn't let escape my mouth. Surely, this couldn't be the case, the plan, the achievement of Glory. Yet, it was. The family was located at Cook's in Ft. Worth, which took me about fifteen minutes to get to. I did my best simply to listen, love, and be around. Tears were shed, hugs were given, stories were told. No one seemed to know what to say. How is there comfort? How is there joy? Yet, amongst all the brokenness, joy seemed to abound. Of course there was mourning, of course there were tears, yet the Lord seemed to have Sovereignly decreed that this family see his goodness and love.

Daryl, the father, had asked me to help lead music for the funeral which led me to spending most of Monday, and Tuesday down in Glen Rose with the family. During my stay with the family, the Lord was obviously moving among the family, and their and identity in the cross was like nothing I have ever seen. There was no anger, no bitterness, no hatred towards the Lord on high. There was no finger-shaking, or name calling of the Sovereign King. There was talk of a plan. His plan. And his glory. There was talk of love and memories. There was prayer, and encouragement. The Gospel moved, and Christ was pointed to as the Savior of the day.

In the wake of this, the Lord has placed some thoughts on my heart, soul and mind.

1. In all, and through all, the Lord will have his glory.

Don't ask me how this works, or what this looks like. I do have to believe, however, that a God who knows all, who sees all, who is not surprised or alarmed by any, and Sovereignly decrees things to come to pass, will have his glory in all things. If a family who lost their 12 year old daughter can proclaim this with joy, you and I are without excuse.

2. The Gospel doesn't win with your fists.

I think this speaks for itself...

3. Speak less, listen more, and love lots.

The last thing I felt comfortable doing in my attempt to comfort the Fenton's was opening my mouth. I think I've learned that the last thing someone wants to hear is that you know how they feel. Give more hugs than words. Just a thought.

4. Joy is found in the cross alone.

Without the cross, we have no hope, and all we have is shame. This past Easter Sunday, Hannah Fenton was reconciled to Christ by the cross, through the cross, in Christ alone. In hours after Easter evening, there was no other thought that impulsed more joy than Christ, and him crucified. His death brought her life through her death.

The Monday after Hannah's death, I wrote a song with Chelsea, that can now be found on my NoiseTrade. I have been raising support for the family by asking friends and family to donate money (a "tip") in exchange for the song download. The song is available for free, but if you feel inclined to bless the Fenton's any monetary amount will be a blessing. Please give.

NoiseTrade Link: https://www.noisetrade.com/mattallen#

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of all mercies and all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." (2nd Corinthians 1:3-4 ESV)

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light and momentary affliction is achieving for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen, but the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." (2nd Corinthians 4: 16-18 ESV)

May the Word move in you, and though you.

To Him be the Glory

-Matt Allen

Paradox.

Over the past couple years there have been a multitude of events that impulsed the innate desire to ask: "Why did that happen like that?"

Examples:

"Why didn't I ever attend DBU, as I had planned multiple times?"

"Why did I live in San Antonio for a year longer than I had initially planned?"

"Why did a close friend pass away from a routine heart stress test, seemingly too young?"

"Why did I struggle to find a job upon moving to the metroplex?"

"Why did that church do that to me?"

"Why did those people hurt me?"

"Why did I hurt those people?"

"Why, why, why?"

The list was extensive. My questions and demands of God well superseded any answers I was discerning from Him. In my frustration, I became anxious. I doubted His plan, his Sovereignty, and his will to accomplish any desirable purpose in me or through me. My unanswered questions left me feeling confused, baffled, and at times angry. I, the created being, found myself with a pointed finger shaking at the all-powerful Creator of all. The lack of answers drove me to a self-indulged, pride-centered individualism. I thought that I was solely in charge. He wasn't giving answers that satisfied my passionately depraved heart, so I obviously had to give them to myself.

It didn't work. Any of it. Seeking to find my identity outside of the cross, my answers fell short, lacking of the Gospel and it's redemption. I found myself working for righteousness sake, out of the idea that these unexplainable events were divine plans for my sanctification. Meaning, I figured that I was hurt by certain groups of people solely to teach me patience. So, in an attempt to avoid making the suffering I endured pointless, I would pursue patience for the sake of patience, under the impression that this response was sufficient. Works based righteousness became the new way to operate, out of the ideology that self-sanctification was the path to the answers I sought.

November 1st, 2010 I sent my first email to Jim Essian, the lead pastor of The Paradox Church in downtown Ft. Worth. This would begin a string of events that would snowball, by grace, leading me to where I am today: A covenanted member of a Gospel-loving, Christ-centered church. A member of a City Group that I love deeply, and loves me back in Biblical community. Somehow, someone signed off on blessing me with the opportunity to make my best attempt at humbly leading worship through music on Sunday mornings for these people. (Even though I refuse to wear shoes.) I'm in a fight club with some guys that confess sin to each other, fight it with the Gospel, and love each other as men should. I hang out with and grab a beer with our guys every Monday night as we seek to live and love in the city for His glory. I love my girl, Kaity Wilson, better. I love people better, and they impulse me to love the Lord more, which impulses me to love people better still. I love the city of Ft. Worth and it's people more every time I enter it. Every bit of this has simply been possible by His grace, through His goodness, and for His glory alone. I truly can't stake claim to any of it.

On January 3rd, I tweeted: "Outside of divine intervention I would have never found @ParadoxFtWorth. They are such a massive blessing and gift to me." Today, driving down 121 South towards the city, the ramifications of this hit me. Every single one of those doubts and questions I mentioned earlier have all brought me exactly to where I am today. Each of them effected my outlook, my worldview, future decisions, and my physical location. Who I am, and where I stand at this second has simply been culminating through unknown doubts and unanswered questions.

As I drove towards the city, viewing the skyline the Lord affirmed something in me that had been brewing in me after a day of reflection. Emphatically and loudly He stated to my heart: "This is why I have brought you through the path I have! This city. These people. This church. Love them well, as I love you." All questions answered, all doubts resolved, I stand upon grace and live in supreme confidence of His Sovereignty. The paradox is The Paradox. How graciously He answered my insufficiencies with His sufficiencies. How well He extended grace freely, after I had attempted to earn it. How clearly He pointed me to His answers after I had pursued creating my own. I have no idea how this continues to manifest itself over the next coming days and months. What I do know is that I have been called to a people, directed to serve and love them well, and live for their joy and His glory in all spheres of life.

Trust Him. Worship Him. Know that He is Lord of all, and stands supreme. Unanswered questions insinuate not that He lacks control to work all things for our good. He stands outside of time and space, and is not bound by our finiteness. He's bigger than we think, better to us than we deserve, and has unfathomable plans that we can only ask humbly to understand. Live and love in grace, and trust Him in all things, and at all times.

"The heart of a man plans his ways, but the LORD establishes his steps."

(Proverbs 16:9 ESV)

May the Word move in you, and through you.

To Him be the Glory

-Matt Allen

Dead.

"And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved." (Ephesians 2:1-5 ESV)

Recently I had the pleasure of leading worship and a high school guys small group for a church in Amarillo, Texas. The guys were great, and my time with them was extremely enjoyable. We walked through the fact that our lives very rarely, if ever, actually match the call and implications of the Gospel. We spoke of how, as church members and frequent attenders, the answers and knowledge of the gospel are known to us, yet the action that should result from this knowledge is often missing.

Ironically, this fact manifested itself throughout the weekend, even as it was spoken of and pointed to as sin. As much as I loved the guys, they were often extremely disrespectful, not only to me, but the the owner of the house. When we arrived at the house, it was spotless. The living room was clean, toys were organized and stacked in a corner, pillows were aligned on the couch and everything was in order. Throughout the course of the weekend, however, that quickly changed. I had made it very well known that the last day we would spend our time cleaning what had been made dirty.

The last day the house was a disaster. Lincoln Logs had been thrown throughout the room in a toy battle, chips had been crushed ground into the carpet, drinks had spilled, clothes were everywhere, the kitchen was torn apart, and it literally looked as if a tornado had torn through the house. Conveniently, all of the boys found something else that they needed to do during the time that they were supposed to be cleaning.

I cleaned. Everything. By myself. I did dishes, and put away toys. I moved clothes, cleaned up spills, put food away, swept and vacuumed for about an hour an a half. By the time I was done the room looked very much like it had when the weekend began.

I called the group back inside and immediately asked them if they noticed any difference between the house then, and when they had left it an hour and a half earlier. One student actually had the audacity to claim he didn't notice a difference. It was then that I explained that scenario actually tied fairly close to the Gospel.

Their mess had been cleaned. Free of charge, without any active persuasion from them, and most certainly not because they had deserved it. I cleaned because I loved them, and found it fit to do so. Likewise, our sins were forgiven while we were dead in our sins, not of our own will, but because God, who is good, and gracious found it appropriate to do so. We didn't deserve it, and most assuredly didn't earn it. Dead men don't make moves, and if they do, they certainly don't make good ones.

Secondly, we, like the student, forget how absolutely depraved and messy we were. The result of this is missing the amazing goodness of how clean we have been made. When our sin is small, so will be our Savior. When our sin is big, so will our Savior be.

Should you be a skeptic, I charge you to look at yourself and juxtapose it with perfection. Even if you don't believe that perfection exists, humor me. Outside of grace, perfection is necessary to find ourselves in communion with God when this life comes to a close. Perfection, unobtainable to you and I, was manifested through the God-man named Christ who died that we may live. May you be reconciled to Christ, for in him, and him alone is life

Should you be a believer, don't forget how absolutely wretched you were outside of the cross. When we lose sight of our sin, we lose sight of our Savior. He saved you, he picked you up out of the mire and despair that you were caught in as objects of wrath. May the recognition of how helpless you were impulse you to love God more, and live for him unashamedly, for his glory and your joy.

May the Word move in you, and through you.

To Him be the glory.

-Matt Allen